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Discontent And What It Teaches

Finding contentment with the choices we make in life is often times the ultimate goal. After all, who wants to admit that they are unhappy and discontent with their choice of career, spouse, relationships, or sometimes our choice of words or actions in any particular situation. I know I certainly didn't. There was a particular season in my life where all I felt was discontent.

Discontent by definition is a result of unmet desires and damaged emotions, which can lead to unforgiveness, resentment, and in some cases anger. Discontent will rob you of your joy and leave you feeling hopeless. That's not all, it hinders your well-being and affects your ability to live a wholesome, happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. It also affects your relationship with others, your relationship with yourself, and most importantly it rips you from your connection to the divine.

During one of my podcast episodes I shared that discontent was something I struggled with during my transition from being a single woman, to being a wife and mother. I shared that I did not transition well, and discontent was the very thing that caused some of the devastating issues my husband and I faced during our first 5 years of marriage. I was extremely angry and resentful, because I was operating from a very broken place.

I resented the people around me for the healing they could not provide, and they didn't have to. It wasn't their place. I resented myself for some of the choices and decisions I'd made in my life. I resented myself for not knowing what I didn't know. I resented myself for being too kind - for being a self-sacrificing people pleaser, and for allowing myself to be mistreated. I resented myself for not recognizing the authority I had over my own life, and my ability to build the kind of life that supports who I am authentically. For allowing others to define womanhood for me, and for accepting the narrative that I was not woman enough. My damaged emotions and deep desires for a life I wanted but didn't have grieved me, which ultimately affected my influence and leadership in my home.

Discontent taught me that being a woman of influence requires contentment which then requires:

  1. A grateful heart: Expressing gratitude for what you do have and not allow yourself to be grieved by what you do not.

  2. Forgiveness: Forgiveness is not defined by excusing or justifying what others may or may not have done to you, but by you laying aside your right to hold them accountable for their actions and simply move on.

  3. Healing: Contentment requires that you heal from unresolved hurt and trauma. You simply cannot lead from a place of brokenness. You must identify those areas in your life that require healing and tackle them head on. Everyone heals differently, some by writing or journaling and others through talking. It is important that you identify how you heal in order to facilitate your own healing.

If you trouble with discontent in your life, I encourage you to ask yourself, where do you need to heal or what might you need to heal from? and identify how you heal. Who might you need to forgive? But also look for areas in your life where you might need to express more gratitude especially if the source of your discontent is one of unmet desires.

Perspective is everything, and I'd love to hear yours. Leave a comment or join the conversation on IG/Instagram or Facebook.

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